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Castles by Ants – Episode 17: The Private Life of the Supporter Type

An ongoing series about psychology in the world of sport.

It should be said that they have the best private lives because their families and partnerships are the most important. But in most cases, they need dominance, so, although they do not like the Ruler type, for them, the Ruler embodies exactly the counterpoint that they have always wanted. So, in a lot of cases, they start a relationship with a Ruler in which they play a supporting role. And though they can often be humiliated in a relationship, they endure it because the stable, strong background they get in return is worth more than anything. Their biggest drawback is that they do not want or state their opinion, because they don’t think it matters as much as the other side’s. They believe that “everyone must make compromises” in order to make the relationship conflict-free because they hate the conflict and they do anything to avoid it. Other personality types see this as a weakness and often refer to them as liars. After all, when they are asked about a particular problem, they focus on sweeping it under the rug rather than addressing the root cause. Then when that fails, the bomb goes off. In the case of a Supporter companion, we can often feel “What’s happening now? Haven’t we already discussed this?” Yes, but the Supporter did not settle the dispute despite the mutually agreed settlement. This behaviour can alienate others. For them, the term “family” applies to the entire extended family, and it is exceedingly difficult for them to distinguish their own small family. It can also be a point of conflict in their lives, especially when the partner sees that the Supporter is exploited by their family. Making matters worse, the Supporter is often happy with such exploitation. They fight for their family under all circumstances, but in many situations, precisely to avoid conflicts and maintain peace, they do not stand up for their small family. Then, at an appropriate stage in their life, they realise that they cannot be a nice person to everyone, and with age they tend to become more selective about their environment. For Supporter men, it is a particular challenge to remain the patriarch of the family because their basic personality traits do not make this role easy. For these reasons, a Supporter without any sort of personality modification is rare. And what is a modified Supporter like? Many people mistake modified Supporters for Rulers. These types can be belligerent. They are not usually focussed on any sort of compromise, but instead obsess over maintaining an aura of strength, often at great cost. Real Rulers, on the other hand, tend to be sly and tactical. The Ruler doesn’t bulldoze people, because they can never know if that person will cross their path in the future, and they might not be able to use that person for their goals. In other words, Rulers seek agreement and, although they are tough and determined, they very rarely “execute” people. This is a big challenge in business and there is a lot of misunderstanding around this whole phenomenon. When employees report that someone is a tyrant, an autocrat, they are very easily “Rulered” (deemed to be a Ruler) but the real professional knows that there is a highly modified Supporter lurking in the background. Such a person can also ruin their private life in a brief period because the loving companion and parent disappears and just a negative, mocking, and often aggressive person remains. And who wants to grow old with a person like that?


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Castles by Ants – Episode 18: The Supporter Athlete

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Castles by Ants – Episode 16: A General Description of the Supporter Type